she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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