I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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