He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
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last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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