So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
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There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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