i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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