i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize