Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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