new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
