Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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