Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
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thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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