Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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