I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
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Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
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I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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