my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
