Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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