I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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