hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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