so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
