so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
