office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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