How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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