I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
