YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
