how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
