I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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