i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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