glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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