I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
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Get them hot, then whip them in the labia gently, the kiss the spot, and repeat but harder. If you work them into it it's more what they've imagined. Second time you can start rougher... Earn their trust then break their spirit while making them cum like a train.
It's all super sexy fun and games until they realize that pain is painful.
I agree with DSAPEER!!! I know when my Master uses the crop on me it's both painful
There's a 67% chance you won't keep up with me...
I couldn't tell you whether you're doing something wrong to scare them away, or whether they're just freaked out at the opportunity to fulfill a fantasy. Read a couple of how-to books before you try again, maybe?