I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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