Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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