When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
