what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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