I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
