sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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