The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
