i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
