Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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