girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
