i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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