you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
