Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
