i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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