if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
