had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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