she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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