No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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