What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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