help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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