I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
