"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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