so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
