We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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