I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
