i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm an idiot
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can i not drive my cunt home
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
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