If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
