he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
