It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
