did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize