guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
