I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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