omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
