I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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