saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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