While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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