i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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