butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Still dying that you shit outside
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
